Youth workers: Conversation starters for talking about harmful or upsetting online content

Focus: Recognising feelings and knowing who can help

Start by asking: “What do you like watching on TV or a tablet? Do you play any games?”

Use their answers to make the questions specific to what they watch or play.

Conversation starters

• "What would you do if something scary happened in [insert show or game]?"
  (Ideas: close your eyes, cover your ears, turn it off, leave the room or tell an adult.)
• "Who would you tell if you saw something that scared you?"
  (Ideas: a parent, whānau member, teacher or another adult they trust.)
• "What helps you feel better when you're scared or worried?"
  (Ideas: a cuddle, talking to someone, playing or doing something calming.)

If tamariki go quiet or seem unsure:

“That's okay. You don't have to talk about it now. We can talk another time.”

Focus: Making choices and asking for help

Start by asking: “What do you like watching or playing on TV, tablets or phones?”

Use their answers to make the questions specific.

Conversation starters

• "What would you do if something scary popped up on [insert app or game]?"
  (Ideas: turn it off, look away, leave the app or tell an adult.)
• "Who would you tell if you saw something that worried you?"
  (Ideas: a trusted adult, whānau member, youth worker or teacher.)
• "What if a friend showed you something you didn't want to watch?"
  (Ideas: say you don't want to watch it, walk away or tell an adult.)

If tamariki aren't sure what to say:

“That's okay. Sometimes it’s hard to talk about things that feel funny inside or icky; that’s normal. What helps you when you feel unsure?”

Focus: Understanding feelings, making choices and getting support

Start by asking: “What do you like watching or playing at the moment? Are there any apps or games you use a lot?”

Use their answers to make the questions specific.

Conversation starters

• "What would you do if something popped up on [insert app or game] that scared you or made you worried?"
  (Ideas: close it, stop watching, tell someone or ask for help.)
• "Sometimes people see things on screens that are hard to forget. What do you think might help?"
  (Ideas: talk to someone, take a break, do something enjoyable or calming.)
• "What would you do if a friend showed you something you didn't want to see?"
  (Ideas: tell them you don't want to watch, walk away or speak to an adult you trust.)
• "Who could you go to if you needed help with something you'd seen?"
  (Ideas: a parent, whānau member, youth worker, mentor, teacher or counsellor.)

If kōrero feels flat or defensive

“Lots of people see stuff online they wish they hadn’t; it doesn’t mean you’re in trouble. What would help make it easier to talk about?”

Focus: Understanding what they see and knowing what to do

Start by asking: “What apps, games or videos are you into at the moment?”

Use their answers to make the questions specific.

Conversation starters

• "What would you do if you saw something scary on [insert app or game]?"
  (Ideas: stop watching, close the app, block or report it, or ask someone for help.)
• "Sometimes you see videos that stay in your head and are hard to forget. What do you think you could do if this happens?"
  (Ideas: talk to someone, take a break from the app or do something calming.)
• "What would you do if a friend showed you something you didn't want to watch?"
  (Ideas: say no, stop watching, walk away or speak to someone you trust.)
• "Have you noticed [insert app] keeps showing you similar videos? Why do you think that happens?"
  (Ideas: explain simply how apps use an algorithm to choose videos based on what people watch and interact with and how they can change what appears.)

If rangatahi brush it off or joke

“It’s okay if it feels awkward; what do you think makes it hard for people to talk about what they see online?”

Focus: Making choices, understanding social media and getting support

Start by asking: “What apps or games do you use most? What do you like watching?”

Use their answers to make the questions specific.

Conversation starters

• "What would you do if something came up on [insert app] that scared you or worried you?"
  (Ideas: stop watching, block or report it, leave the app or ask for help.)
• "Sometimes videos or pictures are hard to forget. What do you think might help if someone can't stop thinking about what they've seen?"
  (Ideas: talk to someone, take a break or ask for support.)
• "What would you do if a friend sent you a scary video?"
  (Ideas: don't forward it, check if your friend is okay, report it or ask for help.)
• "Have you noticed [insert app] keeps showing you similar videos? Do you know how to change what you see?"
  (Ideas: discuss how an algorithm works and why apps recommend certain content and how to change their feeds.)
• "If a younger friend was getting their first phone, what would you tell them about using [insert app]?"
  (Ideas: think before sharing, choose who to interact with, block or report things they don't want to see and know who to ask for help.)

If rangatahi joke or make light of the topic:

“Sometimes it's easier to joke about this stuff. That’s ok, what do you think makes it hard for people to talk about what they see online?”

Focus: Understanding serious content, the law and getting support

Start by asking: “What apps or social media do you use most? What do you usually watch?”

Use their answers to make the questions specific.

Conversation starters

• "What would you do if you saw a video of someone being badly hurt, or something that really scared you?"
  (Ideas: stop watching, don't forward it, report it or ask someone for help.)
• "Did you know there are some videos and pictures you're not allowed to share? What kinds do you think these might be?"
  (Ideas: discuss illegal content, including child sexual abuse material and certain extremely violent or exploitative content. Explain that the law depends on the content and circumstances.)
• "Sometimes people see videos they can't stop thinking about. What might help?"
  (Ideas: talk to someone, take a break or get support.)
• "If a friend sent you a scary video, what would you do?"
  (Ideas: don't forward it, check they're okay, report it or talk to someone you trust.)

Additional sensitive topic — adults showing young people sexual content

• "Sometimes adults show young people sexual pictures or videos, or pressure them into looking at things or doing things they don't want to do. If that happens, it's not their fault. Who could they talk to?"
  (Ideas: a trusted adult, youth worker, counsellor or another support service.)

For youth workers: This is a sensitive safeguarding topic, not a question that needs to be raised in every conversation or group setting. If a young person discloses something, listen calmly, avoid investigating it yourself and follow your organisation's safeguarding procedures.

Focus: Understanding the law, making choices and supporting others

Start by asking: “What apps or social media do you use most?

Use their answers to make the questions specific.

Conversation starters

• "If someone sent you a video showing someone being seriously hurt, what would you do?"
  (Ideas: don't forward it, report it and ask for help if needed.)
• "Why do you think some videos or pictures are against the law?"
  (Ideas: discuss content involving abuse, exploitation or extreme violence, and why some material is illegal.)
• "What might help someone who can't stop thinking about something they've seen on [insert app]?"
  (Ideas: talk to someone, take a break, change what appears in their feed or get support.)
• "If a friend told you they'd seen something scary or disturbing on [insert app], what could you say or do to help?"
  (Ideas: listen without judging, check they're okay and help them find support.)
• "What would you tell a younger friend about staying safe on [insert app]?"
  (Ideas: think before sharing, be aware of what appears in their feed, report content and know where to get help.)

If rangatahi aren't sure what advice they'd give:

“There's not always an obvious answer. What do you think would actually help someone in that situation?”